yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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