I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
