we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
one two three fourrrrnication!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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