Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
