Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
