thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
