what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
