Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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