I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
