My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
