His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
