You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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