we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
