The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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