Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
