what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
