Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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