She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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