I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
