with your own penis?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
