idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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