Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
