I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
