just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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