We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
