I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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