I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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