Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
