I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
