help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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