I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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