Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
