Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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