Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
