And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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