nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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