life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize