Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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