just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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