just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
