I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize