He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
