no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
bring money and cleavage
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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