apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
