The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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