So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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