Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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