Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize