I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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