went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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