They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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