They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
