More tranny stories later!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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