i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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