When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
