the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize