the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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